Things I’ve Learned From Bad Dreams (first in a potential series)

When the president is on every channel of the television, he will continue to appear on the screen even if you turn it off. Unplugging the TV does not help. Throwing bricks at it is not advised.

If two tigers regularly prowl about your property looking for tasty treats, you must disclose this fact if you are selling your home. However, if you are selling a condiminium, you are not legally obligated to tell potential buyers about any tigers.

Never sleep in the dishwasher.