Ralph the Elf FAQ ('cause every site needs an FAQ!)

Why did you do Ralph the Elf Finds a Job?

This was a production of the E.L.F - the Elf Liberation Foundation

ELF Mission Statement: To provide assistance to elves who wish to escape the cruel slavery of Saint Nicholas, aka Kris Kringle, aka Santa Claus.

No, why did you really do Ralph the Elf Finds a Job?

OK, here's the real story.

They decorate our office building lobby for Christmas every year. Last year it was carnival horses and candy canes. This year, it's elves. Lots of elves. Elves hanging from trees, elves gardening, elves decorating... but what really got us was this one elf who was just hanging by one arm from the banister. Every day we'd walk past him. He wasn't doing anything, just hanging out... kinda pathetically. So we thought it might be a hoot to take him to lunch with us one day. But what to do about the security guards (aka people who aren't paid to have a sense of humor)? Luckily, they weren't the 24 hour variety, so instead of taking the elf to lunch, we took him to the mall. And turned him into a Silicon Valley success story.

Who the heck are these people with the warped sense of humor?

Landon Dyer - owner of fyyff.com.
Lilly Tao - proprietor of GirlHacker.com
Landon gets extra brownie points for singlehandedly carrying the elf through the mall. One guy thought he was holding an actual kid by the hair.

Is Ralph really the elf's name?

Actually, Ralph was originally named Ferdinand, but he was renamed when Lilly decided that Ferdinand reminded her too much of the ABBA song "Fernando", and it just wouldn't do to have it running through her head incessantly while she was working on this project. Not that there's anything wrong with ABBA.

Landon: The hell there's nothing wrong with ABBA!

Is there really Santa Real Time Tracking software under development?

Not that we are aware of. However, if there was, it would undoubtedly be an open source project.

Did you put Ralph back?

Yes, Ralph is back where he was before. None the worse for wear, and no one the wiser.

Did Mountain Dew pay you to feature their product in the photos?

No. Mountain Dew has not paid us anything. However, we are open to any offers of compensation. Especially since it wasn't really free. John paid for all of it himself. He did get to drink it, though.

Is that story about GNOME in the slashdot photos for real or did you mock it up?

By fortuitous coincidence, when we pulled up slashdot, that was one of the lead stories. We are not making this up.

How I can help to free some elves?

All it takes are simple household tools and a good headhunter. Go for it! Be sure, however, to first make sure the elf wants to be freed. Some elves are perfectly happy working for the big guy.