What sandwich will “last a minimum of three years at 80 degrees, six months at 100 degrees” while traveling “to the swampiest swamp, the highest mountain, the most arid desert?” It’s the Army’s latest MRE (meals ready to eat) which resemble, sort of, those pocket sandwiches that have become common in grocery stores. They don’t need a spoon, don’t need preparation, and are easy to eat on the run. The two available flavors are pepperoni and barbecue chicken, but what the soldier far from home really wants is peanut butter and jelly. Unfortunately, peanut butter is not stable enough to survive, and in order to imbue it with long lasting properties, food scientists have to also ruin its appealing sticky qualities. Ah well, it’s enough that our Army cares enough to increase morale with “fresh” bread products.