Things I’ve Learned From Bad Dreams (#2 in a series)

Using a tissue to apply mascara is inefficient and often ineffectual.

If instead of check-in counters they have little check-in kiosks in the middle of airport hallways, you can get a faster running start towards your gate. You’ll still miss the plane, of course.

Asking your waiter to create a pink clam chowder for you by combining Manhattan and New England clam chowder may seem like a good idea, but the end result will be interesting — the bad kind of interesting.